OT. Anyone fight with spouse about money?
- Thread starter RedBaloneyPony
- Start date
My wife is a checkbook nazi........we have rewards at every single place we go or use. She has made probably 25000 to 30000 thousand dollars using ibotta and fetch.
I better have a receipt or it's not fun. But she kicks ass with the money.
This whole rationale is fvcked up.
This is really long, so if you are not into long posts, feel free to exit now. Thank you.
I grew up crazy poor too. I've been supporting myself since I was 14. After being happily married for 47 years, and not ever arguing about money, it shows it can be done. I'm conservative, my wife is ulta-conservative, so us being on the same page came naturally. When we got married, I was 23 and she was 19.
Way back in the day, we moved from one apartment to a small house because the landlord raised the rent $ 10.00 and that was a deal breaker. The most powerful word in marriage in all things financial is NO. When you're broke, it should come naturally to say NO.
Fast forward to when I was 45 and my wife was 42 we were essentially set for life. It didn't and hasn't changed our viewpoint on money matters. We've been everywhere we ever wanted to go to, done everything we've ever wanted to do, and we've done it all debt free and with cash only. We did not inherit one penny, we did it the old fashioned way, we worked and saved, but still were able to do things most people have not been able to do.
My wife got a real good job a month after our son was born, and I was able to make a lot of money in the
insurance business. When I began to play horses professionally, our income spiked dramatically.
Even when our income increased by a large amount, it didn't change who we were. We built a home in 1984 and paid it off in 7 years. We bought our first new car in 1986 and paid it off in 1988. The last car payment we had was in 1988.
To this day, the vast majority of our monthly expenses are on a set budget plan. When you have a paid off home, zero debt, and you are making good coin, good things happen. Both of our kids got full ride scholarships, one for academics the other for athletics. Not having any student loans played a good part in our overall financial situation.
I'm not one of those guys who needs a relatively new car, or a boat, or any other expensive tastes. In all honesty, our kids have given us vehicles about every couple years. To this day, the only vehicle we drive is a 1999 GMC Envoy because it will go through a lot of snow. We're fortunate in that we could drive any vehicle we want, but again, we've never forgotten where we came from.
Early on we had one credit card. Back in the day you couldn't book vacations without a credit card, so we used one for that purpose only.. We used it to book airlines, hotels, rental car. That went away a long time ago when the banks began to have Debit cards where you could do the same things, but essentially pay for our vacation before we ever got on an airplane.
Because we remained debt free for so many years, our expenses are so low that both my daughter and son laugh when they ask us what we have to pay each month. 400-141-43-61-84-117-26-80-23-28.00. That's it. Food, electricity, gas, fuel, cable, phones, home and auto insurance, security system, streaming service. $1,003.00 total. To be honest, the largest expense for us 2 is the $ 400.00 a month for food, but we have enough food to not have to grocery shop for 10 years if we wanted to.
Since I'm giving specifics here, when my wife retired at 59 1/2 and received her substantial 401K distribution, we got the check, went to the bank, cashed it, and went to 2 different coin shops and spent 95% of the dollar amount on physical gold and silver.
At the time in 2016, an ounce of gold was 1,315.00 and silver was 15.86. Now, prices fluctuate but gold is @ 1,960.00 and silver is @ 23.90. So that represents a fair return, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, we got the money out of someone else holding it, and put it in our hands. Thus, we have no counter-party risk, they cannot bankrupt, and they're as liquid as cash. For us, it was a really smart move.
We only own 3,000 shares of a gold mining stock, and that is actually split 750 shares each between my wife, son, and 2 youngest grandsons. Its irrelevant how much/if any they grow, its a stock that has shown great potential. But as far as stocks,mutual funds, IRA's, Roth, etc, I have no interest in them. If the price of gold or silver goes up or down, it makes no difference to me, because I know we are protecting what we have, and history has shown there will always be growth over time.
And I haven't mentioned we own a lot of Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin, Monero and Veritasium crypto. Our holdings get smaller each year because we've chosen to allocate them in percentages to both our kids, and to our grandsons.
We don't loan money to people, but we give money to people. I have friends who are trying hard, good people who are just falling behind through no fault of their own. They don't live beyond their means, they don't own $ 1,000 smart phones, because if they did, we would not consider giving them a hand. There was a time when we would loan a friend 50.00-100.00 until payday. If they paid me back on time, they were good, if they didn't, the 0% short term loan went away. They were able to decide their own fate.
I continue to play horses, but now more as a hobby than as a requirement to generate income. It's something I'm really good at, and I really enjoy the research aspect of handicapping. The money is the windfall for 50+ years of having done it the right way.
So, that's an overview of the many good things that can happen if and when you become debt-free. There is no doubt, we live in a different world now, and for the younger people, life is very expensive. If I turned back the clock and I was now a 30 year old man, I don't know if I could be debt free. But, I somehow think I would find a way.
Someone mentioned a 2,500 square foot brick home, or a condo for 200K-300K. None of my business, but it could be more house than they can afford. In that scenario, I would get an amortization schedule and start attacking the back end from month 360 and reduce the principle amount each month. That's how we paid our home off in 7 years when we were young. We eliminated the largest debt we would ever have, then you put yourself in a position to take advantage of more opportunites as they come along. I don't know if any of this applies nowadays, but its what we did, and we have no regrets.
Feel free to try to pick this apart.
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Love your story. The part about looking at loan amortization needs to be repeated. People who call mortgages cheap money are glossing over a number of things. Why are countless banks and mortgage brokers pushing very hard to win you over to loan you money at 3 ro 7%? They are necessary for most of us, but the real interest rate of a 30 year note held for 5 years is awful.
As I've mentioned, your position in crypto scares me but I hope you see even more growth.
I don’t know how old you are but this is similar to my parents who are just retiring now. My dad has a small business in the trades area and mom has worked for same company 40 years. They have some nice real estate assets to fall back on from buying properties 20 years ago if there retirements and social security doesn’t pan out for future living costs.
Where I am worried with myself in comparison is that I feel as though I am falling behind in the financial path of my parents, I want to copy their blueprint in hopes of being in a similar position someday. My dad tells me all the time he and mom didn’t have anything when they started out but I can’t help but wonder on price differences are really the biggest hurdle for my generation.
For instance, my parents bought there first home in 1980 for 18k, minimal updates and sold it in 2010 for 120k. I bought my home in 2015 for 60k, added and improved substantially for all in 180k. I estimate it at 275 appraisal value. In 30 years I don’t expect my house to appreciate to 1.2 million.
I operate a small cow/calf herd with my dad with about 100 cows. I’ve watched him over the past 30 years use this side operation to pay for mine and siblings college, purchase additional land ect. But not in the last 10 because land has become almost unattainable to the small guy. My dreams of buying his ground from him in the future are likely out due to the fact that it’s value will likely be more than I could afford. And would definitely take on a massive debt doing so.
That's good advice too, Tampa. My theory is, attack the home mortgage. If you can get an amortization schedule and use excess money to eliminte the back end of a mortgage, it will makes family finance a lot smoother. In addition to reducing the number of years it takes to pay off a home, you also, at the same time, are building equity in your home. Lots of ways to skin the cat.
Depending on the type of home mortgage a person has, when it began and what the interest rate is, you can pay yourself that amount each month you pay extra on your mortgage. Just my opinion.
Was paying an extra 300 a month on the mortgage up until 6 months ago when real estate taxes and insurance really spiked. Escrow really hammered that plan
Streamer, as crazy as it sounds, crytos are not that big of a deal to me. Yes, they represent a lot of money, but physical gold and silver is money in hand when needed.
I got into Bitcoin clear back in '09, but I've never lost any sleep if they go up or down. I know it sounds weird, but debt-free, several thousand in reserve, physical gold and silver, and we each have Social Security and a nice pension plan, at some point, I decided to diversify a little. As far as out of pocket, I don't have that much invested in crypto. I could sell 1/4 of a Bitcoin and be totally whole.
I'm a strange guy. Remember, I'm primarily a horse player. Risk management is a large part of being successful.
I can sympathize with getting hit like that Red. In my opinion, you're doing an awful lot of good things. Just endeavor to perservere. To me, the economy is a total mess, and its fixing to get a lot worse come the end of August.
I'm 69 years old. No doubt you are living in a different financial world that either your parents or myself and my wife.
Similar to your parents, we built our home in 1984 for 38K, now its valued at 204K. So, I know what you mean about the future value of your home.
My opinion, and my opinion only, but housing prices are going to tank bigtime. Other than the aspect of their "value" my mentality is I have to live somewhere and I wasn't planning on selling anyhow. If my home value tanks, then that's just less money my son and daughter will inherit.
Not to be snoopy, but how many siblings do you have? I do have some thoughts on whatever your answer is.
To be honest, one of our forum members, is an expert in this area. He's also 69 years old and is tremendously successful. I can run some of your ideas by him and get his input because he and I talk farming, equipment, and land, among other things, all the time. He's a modest guy and may not proclaim himself an expert, but his past decisions have led him to being a very successful man in these areas, so that's how I view the man.
My personal opinion on land is they're not making any more of it. The issue with me and purchasing land, is when the economy tanks and land prices take a hit, the critical issue is going to be that the credit will freeze. We may well enter a period where land will be unavailable to purchase because, after all, who actually has the cash to buy land at the prices that we see? Pretty much nobody has that kind of cash on hand.
Pelini is a funny guy, but he forgot to tell you that you can't shake the whore tree and expect an angel to fall out.
Good advice, but no way you could pull that off now a days… average mortgage payment for a first time homebuyer is around $3k. Average USED Car payment is over $500.
Costs have dramatically gone up over the past decade or so, but wages are WAY behind.
You were born the right time..
Oh one could do it - but it would mean a smaller house than their friends, maybe not in the most ideal area or town and a car that is not as nice as their friends. Average size of new homes has gone up dramatically since the 50’s. If you look at average annual income compared to average home value from the 50’s to present day it’s astonishing the difference.
Ultimately marketing the best and newest and with expectations we put on ourselves due to all the comparisons to others make these things seem impossible when in reality it is not. All of the above would be sacrifices the previous few generations would have made that have gone out of fashion now.
I disagree.. starter homes aren’t being built. A crappy used Hyundai will run you over $300 per month. Government devalued the dollar and the young middle class have to suffer .
Daycare costs us $2k per month.. we are stuck renting because buying a home is just too expensive.
You’re out of touch with reality if you truly believe your post.
I stand by my post - $200k home would be roughly $1200/month mortgage. A $10k car would be $150 a month.
Here’s a graph that completely destroys your narrative… keep in mind in the 50s household usually meant one income.
When I was 12, I would get off school, trot about a mile to downtown and work in a restaurant from 4:00 to 10:30, jog home zig zagging through alleys so I didn't get picked up for curfew. At the end of the week my check was for $ 12.50 for 30 hours.
My first full time job at 16 in a bottling company, I was earning $ 1.70 an hour.
Went in the Air Force at age 17, my monthly pay was $ 288.00 a month.
Now, the starting pay for an E1 in the military is $ 1,833.00 a month.
My pay in the Air Force when I became Sergeant with 3 years service service was $ 438.00 a month.
Now it's $ 2,432.00 a month.
I bought my first car, a 1959 Ford Galaxy with NO reverse for $ 59.00.
We waited 6 years to buy our home when interest rates were 17%, and got our first home loan at 13%, under a "special" first time homebuyers program. My first mortgage was $ 383.00 a month, probably the equivalent of about 6X's now,
$ 2298.00 a month.
The cost of all things are relative to the times.
But, I agree it is a different world. The big difference is, like you say, in those days wages kept up with inflation.
🤣🤣🤣… hope your DeLorean can get you there.
You’re not calculating taxes and insurance properly..
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By the way, are you one of my long lost sons? I'm about functional, not fancy.
Just so you know, by 1970 the USD had lost 87% of its purchasing power. In 2023 it's lost 97%.
So its lost only 10% purchasing power in the last 43 years.
Lol.. are you saying it only takes 10% more to buy a home now compared to 1970?
If so, you have no grip on today’s reality.
A 200K home with NO down payment for 30 years at 6.715% is $ 1,412.00. 1,200 is definitely in the ballpark because of fluctuating interest rates.
You morons do realize you must pay pmi, insurance and taxes too, correct ?
I did not say it takes 10% more to buy a home now compared to 1970.
I said things are relative to the times.
What that means is the dollar came into existence in 1913. By 1970 that same dollar was worth only 13 cents in purchasing power.
In the year 2023, that same dollar only has 3 cents purchasing power.
I have 2 siblings. Both older. Seem to be better off financially than myself, one is a business owner and the other married a medical professional. What started my rant in the original post is that My wife feels like we can afford to have and do some of the things my siblings get to as well as one of her siblings but I’m a person who likes to be planned out and diligent with our money. I know that while we are doing ok to cover our life expenses, that 5k vacations aren’t in the cards for us at this time in life. It can be hard for her to not get to do and experience some things she would really enjoy but it always comes back to that it’s not in the budget.
We are both teachers and hope to have her maxed out on the salary as soon as she gets completed with her 2nd masters, im trying to complete my first by the paying for school as we go, not sure if you know but graduate credits are about 3 times the money as undergrads. Really hoping in a few years we can really up our income and this will mitigate our problems as I intend to keep my spending habits the same.
No - I mentioned that point above. Those prices aren’t because that’s what’s needed, it’s because marketing in our life and stretching our dollars to live a certain lifestyle is happening more now than then.Here’s a graph that completely destroys your narrative… keep in mind in the 50s household usually meant one income.
I wouldn’t take any boomer advice.. that generation got to eat their cake and have it too.
Tampa - you can call me a moron all you want, I paid PMI on my first house and never again because I had a down payment that eliminated that need. Yes - taxes and insurance will be less on less expensive homes.
Ask Easy123 if his first house was in the top location and the square footage? I guarantee you that is a sacrifice few in this generation would make now.
How old are you Tampa? I’m 44 for perspective. I’m not a boomer - you can call me a moron and you can say I’m out of touch, but this path has worked.
But that wasn't your argument. You don't think I know about associated costs with owning/buying a home?
Moron? Okay, if you say so.
Yeah, we waited 6 years for interest rates to drop from 17%. We bought at 13%. You gonna see 13% anytime soon?
Actually it was my argument. I don’t know why boomers have a hard time admitting they had it made.. so many generations after you will have to pick up the bill.. we’ll see if you locust take out social security as well
My parents paid 18 %.. got a brand new house for $75k. Am I going to see $75k brand new houses anytime soon?
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