Place your best Dad Joke here...
- Thread starter Dean Pope
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Dad. Knock knock?
Daughter Who's there?
Dad. Interrupting cow.
Daughter Interrupting cow wh...? Dad Moo!!!
Daughter Who's there?
Dad. Interrupting cow.
Daughter Interrupting cow wh...? Dad Moo!!!
What’s the hardest part about roller blading??
Having to tell your dad that you’re gay
Having to tell your dad that you’re gay
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Son comes home and goes to his parents room...opens the door and sees his Dad behind his mom, banging her. "Dad, what are you doing?
"Nothing timmy, just go to your room"
Few minutes later the Dad goes to Timmy's room and there is Timmy, ****ing his grandma...Dad yells out "Timmy, what are you doing?!?!?'
Timmy looks at him and goes "Yeah, it is not so funny when it is your mom"
"Nothing timmy, just go to your room"
Few minutes later the Dad goes to Timmy's room and there is Timmy, ****ing his grandma...Dad yells out "Timmy, what are you doing?!?!?'
Timmy looks at him and goes "Yeah, it is not so funny when it is your mom"
Me: Hey you want to hear a joke?!
Anyone else: yep
Me: Women’s right to vote!
Anyone else: yep
Me: Women’s right to vote!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels….
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels….
Not necessarily a dad joke but I find it the ultimate tribute for Father’s Day
Mine is more of a Grandpa joke.
A grandpa and his young grandson are in his boat at the lake. After a few minutes the boys asks, "Grandpa...how's come the sky is blue?" Grandpa thinks for a second and says, "I don't know."
A few minutes later the boy interrupts the silence and says, "Grandpa...how can this boat float on the water?" Grandpa says, "I don't know."
After a few more minutes the boys says, "Grandpa.. how can the fish breathe underwater?" Grandpa, thinks for a second, then says, "I don't know."
A few minutes pass and the little boy asks, "Grandpa, does it bother you that I ask you all these questions?"
The Grandpa says, "Of course not, if you don't ask me questions, how else are you going to learn?"
What do you call of line of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hairline
A receding hairline
Despite the subject matter, this has always been one of my favorite jokes.
This kid from a small town fashions himself as a tough guy, so he joins the Army to become a paratrooper.
He graduates from basics and moves onto to jump school. The day of jumping out of the plane finally arrives and as the kid reaches the door to the airplane to jump out of, he just freezes.
The jump instructor gets in his face and says, "listen Mr., either you jump, or I'm gonna have my way with you."
Later that day, the kid arrives back at the barracks. His buddy asks him, "how did it go today with jumping from the plane?"
The kid said, "not so good." His buddy asked him, "how's come?"
He said, "I got to the door to jump but then I just froze."
His buddy says, "Oh, my goodness, what did the jump instructor say?"
He said, "either I jump or he was going to have his way with me.
His buddy says, "Well, did you jump?' And the kid says, "well, just a little at first."
You’re American when you walk into the bathroom and American when you walk out. What are you when you’re in the bathroom?
European
European
Why does it take a woman so long to orgasm?
Who cares, thats why.
Who cares, thats why.
A police officer came to my door today.
I opened the door..and he held up a photo of my wife and said...
"Is this your wife sir??"
"Yes" I replied...gettin a bit worried.....
"Well"..He continued "I have some tragic news...it appears she has been hit by a bus"
I looked down..sadly..then said...
"Yeah mate..I know....but she has a GREAT personality..and she is awesome with the kids"
I opened the door..and he held up a photo of my wife and said...
"Is this your wife sir??"
"Yes" I replied...gettin a bit worried.....
"Well"..He continued "I have some tragic news...it appears she has been hit by a bus"
I looked down..sadly..then said...
"Yeah mate..I know....but she has a GREAT personality..and she is awesome with the kids"
Why are they called ‘tampons’?
…… because ‘beaver dam’ was taken…
…… because ‘beaver dam’ was taken…
Whenever we come to a RR crossing sign:
"Looks like a train just went by. Know how I can tell? It just left its tracks."
"Looks like a train just went by. Know how I can tell? It just left its tracks."
What’s the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?
A goldfish likes to muck around the fountain.
A goldfish likes to muck around the fountain.
A skeleton walks into a bar. He says. Give me a beer. And a mop.
Last week instead of buying more shampoo for my wife, I mixed some of the dog shampoo into her current bottle.
Ever since I did that she has been such a good girl!
Ever since I did that she has been such a good girl!
How much does it cost a Russian to swim with the sharks in Egypt?
An arm and a leg.....at least.
Too soon?
An arm and a leg.....at least.
Too soon?
These guys' delivery are great.
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