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I would like to hear everyone's go to one-liner that is as good the next time you say it as the the first time you heard it
One of my favorites:
I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire.
“Stop rough-housing on the Davenport.” Wtf? To this day I don’t know what my grandma was saying. Was a couch at one point labeled a “Davenport”? I’m guessing so. Only explanation.I would like to hear everyone's go to one-liner that is as good the next time you say it as the the first time you heard it
One of my favorites:
I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire.
Yes for some reason a couch was call a Davenport I’ve never heard a reason for it. Just like 100 years ago every house had a parlor“Stop rough-housing on the Davenport.” Wtf? To this day I don’t know what my grandma was saying. Was a couch at one point labeled a “Davenport”? I’m guessing so. Only explanation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davenport_(sofa)“Stop rough-housing on the Davenport.” Wtf? To this day I don’t know what my grandma was saying. Was a couch at one point labeled a “Davenport”? I’m guessing so. Only explanation.
and here I thought PHD stood for Piles it Higher and DeeperFrom grumpier old men. You can wish in one hand and s*** in the other. See which one gets full first.
My grandpa was a wise old farmer that never went past the eighth grade but still had a very successful life. He liked to talk about politics and world events with his friends and relatives over a whiskey and water. He'd usually end with "well, I have got a PhD. You know, a post hole digger" he had a pretty low opinion of politicians and their hubris. My grandma, being equally wise and seeing the dangers of strong drink during the prohibition era, would let him have a drink or two when they were out socially, but she would not allow a bottle of any kind in the house. No beer either.
Uuuum my buddy always used to say, "you buy em books and buy em books and all they want to do is drink and screw"I always heard the last one as "Buy them books and buy them books, but all they do is look at the pictures"
but yours works as well!