OT: Regret getting married?

[BigBL87]

Well, your cousin is right in that it isn't what you think it will be. You WILL fight, you WILL get angry, and it WILL be work. In fact, marriage is probably the thing in my life that requires the most work.

That being said, I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything. I love my wife more than I ever thought I could love another person. The trick to marriage isn't not fighting, it's learning to fight productively. Fighting will happen, you have to make sure it makes a difference.

 

[litespeedhuskerfan]

Deleted, might have been a tad uncouth...

 

[huskerbux]

Haven't seen BoilerB post in a looong time, but this should drive him out of semi-retirement.

As for the question. Nope....no regrets at all. 27 years this December. Has it been unicorns and rainbows? Nope....no way. We've had the downs, the arguments, the sleeping on the couch (both have gone there). But we have also had the ups....children, laughs, sex, goofiness that only she and I get.
Like Lite mentioned....the day I stop looking around, is the day I need to hang it up. She's the same way. Just the other night, watching America Ninja Warrior, she was reading and then up comes a guy straight out of cowboy GQ. "Oh, I think I need to watch now and cheer this nice young man on!"

If you are truly considering getting married, the last place you should be looking for answers is on a sports message board. Especially this one. this place can't agree on ANYTHING and since you don't know any of us from Adam, you don't know who is giving good advice or not.

 

[St. Anger]

Someone told me once about marriage, "Women expect him to turn into Prince Charming and men expect her to not turn into the Wicked Witch. Both get disappointed."

In all honesty, from what I know, take any issues you have now. Literally anything that is negative and only imagine those getting worse over time. Because that is exactly what happens. If you struggle now with her, whether it's bitching, moaning, fighting, little crap - go buy some Nikes and run. Those things don't go away, they actually do the opposite. They magnify.

 

[litespeedhuskerfan]

27 years? What are you, like 80?

Kidding that's awesome. What age did you marry? I married at 22, 47 now.

 

[SilentCommit]

Best decision I ever made. Coming up on 11 years now. Every day I learn something new. Some things I know, and some things I wish I knew:

- Picture her at her ugliest and on her worst behavior. Still love her? You're good.
- You will not have tons more money by combining your incomes. You might think that makes logical sense, but no.
- When you're really mad at her (hopefully this doesn't happen often), summon a mental image of what she looked like when you first saw her come down the aisle. Remember how you felt. Hopefully this doesn't remind you what the cold steel barrel of a shotgun feels like.
- She will frequently tell you she doesn't mind/care about the little things. It doesn't matter what she says. You need to care about them.

My wife and I have been through, and are going through, lots of trials in the short time we've been married. Marriage is work. IMHO it's also worth every bit of effort it takes.

 

[HuskerAlum92]

I read these responses, and I keep thinking....

His wife reads this forum and knows his username
His wife does not

 

[Lincoln100]

Best decision I ever made. Coming up on 11 years now. Every day I learn something new. Some things I know, and some things I wish I knew:

- Picture her at her ugliest and on her worst behavior. Still love her? You're good.
- You will not have tons more money by combining your incomes. You might think that makes logical sense, but no.
- When you're really mad at her (hopefully this doesn't happen often), summon a mental image of what she looked like when you first saw her come down the aisle. Remember how you felt. Hopefully this doesn't remind you what the cold steel barrel of a shotgun feels like.
- She will frequently tell you she doesn't mind/care about the little things. It doesn't matter what she says. You need to care about them.

My wife and I have been through, and are going through, lots of trials in the short time we've been married. Marriage is work. IMHO it's also worth every bit of effort it takes.

If you keeping going through lots of trials and keep working at it with little to no results, you will soon tire. Hope all your work pays off.

 

[St. Anger]

Marriage is work. IMHO it's also worth every bit of effort it takes.

That depends on the two involved. As corny and cliched as it sounds, if even one of you has a slight communication issue, it will fail. ABC=Always Be Communicating. Even if you're pissed. "I'm going out to watch the game with Dave, I'll be back later, we can chat then."

If one of you can't communicate, it's over. Seriously.

 

[CBloody7]

Amazing how often this mind-bottling shit happens.

FIFY

 

[jay-cheese]

I disagree...this might be the best thread I've read on this board in a long time. There's some great information and misinformation provided (with a quite a few laughs from some opinions stated too). Well done. Personally I wish you all the best (married, widowed, divorced, single, & all who wish they weren't).

Classic family banter from Married with Children:
Al: Peg, I'm ashamed of you.
Peggy: I know.
Al: Peg! If you keep shopping at that new mall, we'll be broke and living in a cardboard box under the 'L'!
Peggy: Not me. I can always divorce you and remarry.
Bud: And me and Kelly will be living in a foster home.
Kelly: Let's go shopping. Put Dad in a early grave!
Al: Uh, family before you go, would you get old Daddy's shotgun and stand close together?

GBR

 

[suhnami]

Marriage is supposed to test your love for your wife. You will find out how patient, kind, forgiving, unselfish you are, so you can then work on your weaknesses.

Women are responders. If they aren't responding, their husband has some work to do, and I don't mean fix his wife.

What is he doing wrong, what can he do better, he needs to find a way. He's married to the right person, he just needs to be the type of husband his wife will respond to.
If he is, there will no regrets.

I got married four months ago to a lovely woman half my age. Problems are going to happen to every marriage. The good marriages find a way. We've had our situations already, just like anyone, and they are opportunities for me to do what is best for the marriage, starting with myself.

The husband is the CEO of that marriage. It's on him to make it work.

I also believe there is nothing better than being married. Singleness carries a high risk, just too expensive for me.

Commit to your woman when you find her, tell her often she is the only one and you will never leave her. That's a good place to start.

My Asian friend Ho-Lee-Phuk found this post interesting...

 

[Lincoln100]

That depends on the two involved. As corny and cliched as it sounds, if even one of you has a slight communication issue, it will fail. ABC=Always Be Communicating. Even if you're pissed. "I'm going out to watch the game with Dave, I'll be back later, we can chat then."

If one of you can't communicate like an adult, it's over. Seriously.

Added to it

 

[suhnami]

This past Monday, (Labor Day) the wife and I proceeded to get some tasks completed around the house. WHile stopping at ACE Hardware, I decided to grab some sandwiches at Mr. Goodcents. I called to ask what kind of sandwich she wanted.

She says, "I want the same thing you always get." I said, "You want everything I put on my sandwich?" She says yes.

Knowing her like I do, I knew she didn't want green peppers and black olives on her sandwich. So I excluded those items. I also knew she didnt like Roast Beef, so I just got her a turkey sandwich with everything I get... sans Black olives and green peppers.

When I arrived at the house, she says, "Did you get mustard on this sandwich?" I said yes. You asked for everything I put on the sandwich. She says why would you get mustard on this sandwich? We've been married for almost 5 years, and you don't know I hate mustard?
And I swear to God this was her next question:

"Do you even know what it means to love somebody other than yourself or your precious Nebraska Cornhuskers?"

This led to an argument for the next hour.


So.... if you think I regret marriage, you would be correct.

Get out while you have some piece of your soul left.

 

[huskerbux]

27 years? What are you, like 80?

Kidding that's awesome. What age did you marry? I married at 22, 47 now.

Feel 80 some days.....especially the day after drinking too much watching the huskers lose! We got married at 24. 51 now. Congrats on your 25 this year!

 

[jteten]

First wife...regret
2nd wife....dont regret.

 

[HuskerTimOmaha]

We just celebrated our 8-year anniversary last week. In all honesty, it's been a blast, and here's what changed....

1. Keep it in my pants unless showering, using the restroom or .....ummmmm, well, her brother is on here.
   
2. Sleep in the same bed
3. Watch a few dozen of her shows

Other than that, nothing has changed. If I want to go out with the guys, I do it. If I want to take a road trip, I do it. If I want time to myself, I do it. And yes, the same goes for her, she can do what she wants when she wants. Outside of 20 or so on my bucket list for a couple nights of fun, there isn't a woman in the world I'd rather be with. And those that know me can vouch, IMO it's the perfect marriage.

 

[Lincoln100]

Get out while you have some piece of your soul left.

Could be POTT

 

[Bremser]

No, that's just called being a guy. The day you stop wondering what color panties that little hottie is wearing, a little bit of you dies inside.

...fully agree if she was indeed hot. If she was lumpy, dude might have relationship issues worthy of attention.

 

[Bremser]

We just celebrated our 8-year anniversary last week. In all honesty, it's been a blast, and here's what changed....

1. Keep it in my pants unless showering, using the restroom or .....ummmmm, well, her brother is on here.
   
2. Sleep in the same bed
3. Watch a few dozen of her shows

Other than that, nothing has changed. If I want to go out with the guys, I do it. If I want to take a road trip, I do it. If I want time to myself, I do it. And yes, the same goes for her, she can do what she wants when she wants. Outside of 20 or so on my bucket list for a couple nights of fun, there isn't a woman in the world I'd rather be with. And those that know me can vouch, IMO it's the perfect marriage.

I enjoyed reading this...until I saw your sig pic. It sorta screwed it up for me...

 

[nufaninouland]

25 years now. Mostly good, sometimes not so good. But always the not so good is followed by the good. And almost all of the not so good is due to factors that happen to us not because of us-my job, her job, etc. Understanding that has been the key for me. You'd have to talk to my wife to see why she sticks with me, but I'm glad she does.

I don't know if anyone ever knows if they married the "right" or "perfect" person for them. But from what I have seen, everyone knows very quickly if they have married the wrong one.

 

[St. Anger]

The husband is the CEO of that marriage. It's on him to make it work.

This makes me feel like you're BS'ing

 

[St. Anger]

Added to it

Great addition. Once dated a girl who moved in and freaked out about coffee mugs in the sink, temperature of the thermostat, water bottles in the fridge without a cap. Like, WW3 over that shit. She moved out, thank sweet baby Jesus.

 

[SilentCommit]

If you keeping going through lots of trials and keep working at it with little to no results, you will soon tire. Hope all your work pays off.

Understood, and you're not wrong. However, trials can also strengthen bonds even further.

My 2 Uncle and Aunt pairs, along with my parents, celebrated their 50th Anniversaries in consecutive years. I think that, if they were newlyweds today, the odds of them all getting that far would be terrible. Things are different now, obviously. I guess what I mean is, marriage is work, but it's rewarding with commitment. I wouldn't change a thing, and I'm very lucky.

 

[HudsonValleyHusker]

for the record, I'm not married yet, but considering it

Some things to consider: Do a credit check on her BEFORE you marry her. Don't take just her word for it about how much debt she is carrying. Also, take a day off and hang out at family court and realize that there's a 50/50 chance you will be a defendant. Good luck.

 

[HuskerTimOmaha]

Paging @huskerhomie

 

[HuskerTimOmaha]

Some things to consider: Do a credit check on her BEFORE you marry her. Don't take just her word for it about how much debt she is carrying. Also, take a day off and hang out at family court and realize that there's a 50/50 chance you will be a defendant. Good luck.

Don't get married if you can't trust your partner.

 

[c2o]

Sometimes, but mostly not
I ain't lying by saying she's hot

And I'm fast too.

Haven't had to go shopping in years.
Don't have to cook unless she's mad at me.
I can cook.

And on top of that, my wife has lucky boobs. I rub them for good luck.
Sometimes I have good luck.

 

[GretnaShawn]

Just hit 5 years. It's great. Don't get too worked up about small stuff, talk like adults about anything else and don't buy shit you can't afford.

 

[Husker.Wed.]

Someone on here once told me it is like being married to multiple people. The first being the one you knew you were marrying. The second being the future mom (it changes women). The third being the empty nester, then grandma and so on. So far he has proven to be accurate.

MIght have been me. I talked to an old guy once who had been married for 68 years. He said he was married to "four different women". He married a "flapper", then she was a business lady, then a mother, and now an "old gal". He said the secret was rolling with those changes and adapting to the new people they become, and hope they do the same for you.

Today is my 27th anniversary. She is a different person from the one who used to tease her hair up big, put on a tube skirt and go to the Iron Maiden concert with me. But I have no regrets since because we are best friends, we have rolled with the changes we have been through. If I had a time machine and could go back, I would do it again.

 

[HuskerBorn]

Been married 18 years and love it. People just bailing on their marriages when times get a little tough and walking out on a commitment that they made for "life" is a big reason our society is so jacked up right now. The break down of the family unit it really sad. Stick it out and fight for your marriage, make your wife a priority above all others and your kids will thank you.

 

[Lincoln100]

Been married 18 years and love it. People just bailing on their marriages when times get a little tough and walking out on a commitment that they made for "life" is a big reason our society is so jacked up right now. The break down of the family unit it really sad. Stick it out and fight for your marriage, make your wife a priority above all others and your kids will thank you.

Lots and lots of assumptions in this post

 

[anon_umk0ifu6vj6zi]

Lots and lots of assumptions in this post

Hardly.

 

[Lincoln100]

Hardly.

Yeah, you know better than I do.

 

[anon_umk0ifu6vj6zi]

Yeah, you know better than I do.

Glad you realize it, now try and better yourself.

 

[c2o]

For the soon to be or newly married...

One big thing,
always wear dark underwears.
If she buys you white drawls, throw them down laundry chute every week without wearing them.
She'll think better of you if she sees pristine white drawls.

It doesn't matter how many pairs you accumulate. resist the temptation to wear them.
Just keep throwing them in the hamper and wear your dark drawls everyday.
She doesn't want to see your skidmarked drawls.

 

[tpmcg]

c2o. wins again.

 

[Lincoln100]

Glad you realize it, now try and better yourself.

Says 4.6.3. Be honest, you and Tulsa are roommates.

 

[Lars72]

For the soon to be or newly married...

One big thing,
always wear dark underwears.
If she buys you white drawls, throw them down laundry chute every week without wearing them.
She'll think better of you if she sees pristine white drawls.

It doesn't matter how many pairs you accumulate. resist the temptation to wear them.
Just keep throwing them in the hamper and wear your dark drawls everyday.
She doesn't want to see your skidmarked drawls.

Seriously, this made me laugh my ass off. Someday I need to meet this cat.

 

[bigboxes]

I have ZERO regrets. Twenty-two years and counting. She is the love of my life. I knew it the moment I met her. We had an immediate connection. I couldn't wait until I saw her again so I could ask her out. It was apparent after a few dates that she had great character and could handle adversity. She stuck with me when I joined the Navy. We rarely saw each other in the first year of our marriage. If we could withstand that then being apart for a weekend was no big deal.

Marriage is about compromise. You know that college roommate that you didn't get along with? That's right. You found another one. That friend who you had a fight with? Yeah, you went home alone afterwards. When your married you have to learn to live that which would otherwise annoy you. You need to learn "I love you"s and "I'm sorry"s. You'll find out that your strengths will cover her weaknesses and vice versa. We are all just trying to get through life. One day at the age of 25 I realized I had met the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It will never be long enough.