This takes a lot for me to type as I am not overly vocal about me being an alcoholic, but I figure I may as well do this on an anonymous message board. haha.
The Keith Williams situation hits really close to home to me because, as previously stated, I am a recovering alcoholic and I will be 4 years sober on August the 18th. I want to make very clear that I have no negative feelings towards anyone who can enjoy having some drinks. More power to you. I made my choice 4 years ago because the people around me and I myself realized that I could not enjoy any adult beverages safely or responsibly. I see no reason why someone who can shouldn't enjoy himself or herself. I also want to make clear that I am not calling anyone an alcoholic at all. Keith Williams is the only one who can make that call or doctors in that particular field and please bare with me as some of these points may read as if I am assuming he has a problem or shaming him into thinking he has one. From my four years in the Alcoholics Anonymous program, I can say that there are always patterns of behavior for people in Keith's position and his are pretty consistent with others that I have worked with.
First, ask yourself this: What does a REAL alcoholic look like? Many have this contorted view of what an alcoholic looks like and that REAL alcoholism is reserved for the people who drink all day or those who because of their addiction have lost everything and they are now sitting underneath a bridge sipping cheap vodka. Not really the case. I know many alcoholics through the AA program that are very successful people and hid their problems for many years away from their jobs, their families, and ultimately from themselves. You really can't place an image next to the definition of alcoholism and there are no thresholds for how you determine whether someone needs help or not.
Lets start with Keith's history with two DUIs and getting a third one on Saturday night. First, Im sure some in the other threads have read my comments about the timing of the first two being very close together and this third one being almost 8 years removed from the other two. It leads me to believe that in between his second and third that he tried to get help and was marginally successful at doing so. I know that many states after DUI number two mandate some sort of treatment. The problem that many alcoholics have is that once they have gone for quite awhile without drinking, the alcoholic's brain tells them that they are no longer an alcoholic and that they are "cured" of their disease. To understand this, one has to understand that alcoholism is a mental obsession and a physical addiction. The mental obsession of where and when our next drink is going to come from never goes away. It will fade after time; for example I am four years sober and I have a moment of weakness probably once every two months. My wife still socially drinks and once in awhile I will see a Busch Lite or some wine in the refrigerator and my mind is like "Wow. That looks tempting. I can do this." I compare it to the scene from the movie with Denzel Washington "Flight" when he opens the mini-fridge and sees all of the alcohol, then shuts the door, sure enough back he comes to drink.
Next, when reading the AA Big Book, the first part is the doctor's opinion. It talks all about how the alcoholic will drink and take on all types of risks fully knowing all of the consequences but not being able to help himself. This was me to the T when I was drinking. I'd blow off family outings, big appointments that could have advanced my career a lot faster, etc. all because of the mental obsession and physical craving of alcohol because that was the most important thing: Where my next drunk was going to come. I think what Keith Williams did on Saturday night would put him in this same category. He knew the consequences of his third DUI, he knew he had a bit to drink, and he chose to take on those risks when we all know that the man could have found other means to get home.
The middle two paragraphs here lead me to believe that he has attempted to get help before, but slipped up. Which in my dealings with this, I can understand and there is no respect lost from me.
A good question was posed as to where the University of Nebraska draws the line? This is not new ground for Keith Williams and if we let this one be his slap on the wrist, will this behavior continue? That's a very good question and I can tell you that if he truly is an alcoholic, that it most certainly will continue if he doesn't seek the help that he needs. Another good point was brought up about whether firing him would actually aid him in getting to his "rock bottom" to where he realizes that he has a problem he can't tackle on his own. I absolutely can see that point and I think it might be the best one that I have seen. But I have caught myself wondering this morning about what is best for Keith at this point? Does he need to get to his rock bottom to begin to change? Is sitting where he is regretting everything he's done his rock bottom now? Only Keith can answer that. I truly believe that what he should be required to do is get evaluated by the appropriate doctors and if treatment is recommended that he should be required to go to AA meetings. Based on what the doctor says the only requirement for Keith to retain his job should be his willingness to handle this problem if it is deemed he has one. We are a very forgiving society and the poor look the University of Nebraska may have from a national perspective will pass. We've seen the support he's received from his future constituents. I don't think them, or their parents would have any ill-will toward Nebraska if a man like Keith Williams admitted his faults and took steps to fix them. It is a very brave thing to do to admit you have a problem and to walk into your first meeting without having the court mandate that you're there.
To the crowd that thinks he should be fired on the spot without any type of consideration, I would completely disagree with you and I feel that if the University didn't put some very strong consideration into this decision and support their decision one way or the other with ways to help Keith that it would do absolutely no good for anyone and it would really lower my opinion of the administration.
As I said, I am not calling Keith Williams an alcoholic and I absolutely realize that some of my points were based on the assumption that he is, but I really hope that a requirement for him through what he'll deal with legally is to get evaluated by a doctor or a counselor and I hope that he chooses to be honest with the person conducting the evaluation. If he truly has a problem, I can certainly say that the AA community of Omaha and Lincoln will gladly accept you as a member Coach Williams and you have nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about. There are people here in this state that are just as good at helping people with this as you are at coaching WideOuts.
Thanks for the people that are reading this and I hope that I provided some worthy thoughts.
The Keith Williams situation hits really close to home to me because, as previously stated, I am a recovering alcoholic and I will be 4 years sober on August the 18th. I want to make very clear that I have no negative feelings towards anyone who can enjoy having some drinks. More power to you. I made my choice 4 years ago because the people around me and I myself realized that I could not enjoy any adult beverages safely or responsibly. I see no reason why someone who can shouldn't enjoy himself or herself. I also want to make clear that I am not calling anyone an alcoholic at all. Keith Williams is the only one who can make that call or doctors in that particular field and please bare with me as some of these points may read as if I am assuming he has a problem or shaming him into thinking he has one. From my four years in the Alcoholics Anonymous program, I can say that there are always patterns of behavior for people in Keith's position and his are pretty consistent with others that I have worked with.
First, ask yourself this: What does a REAL alcoholic look like? Many have this contorted view of what an alcoholic looks like and that REAL alcoholism is reserved for the people who drink all day or those who because of their addiction have lost everything and they are now sitting underneath a bridge sipping cheap vodka. Not really the case. I know many alcoholics through the AA program that are very successful people and hid their problems for many years away from their jobs, their families, and ultimately from themselves. You really can't place an image next to the definition of alcoholism and there are no thresholds for how you determine whether someone needs help or not.
Lets start with Keith's history with two DUIs and getting a third one on Saturday night. First, Im sure some in the other threads have read my comments about the timing of the first two being very close together and this third one being almost 8 years removed from the other two. It leads me to believe that in between his second and third that he tried to get help and was marginally successful at doing so. I know that many states after DUI number two mandate some sort of treatment. The problem that many alcoholics have is that once they have gone for quite awhile without drinking, the alcoholic's brain tells them that they are no longer an alcoholic and that they are "cured" of their disease. To understand this, one has to understand that alcoholism is a mental obsession and a physical addiction. The mental obsession of where and when our next drink is going to come from never goes away. It will fade after time; for example I am four years sober and I have a moment of weakness probably once every two months. My wife still socially drinks and once in awhile I will see a Busch Lite or some wine in the refrigerator and my mind is like "Wow. That looks tempting. I can do this." I compare it to the scene from the movie with Denzel Washington "Flight" when he opens the mini-fridge and sees all of the alcohol, then shuts the door, sure enough back he comes to drink.
Next, when reading the AA Big Book, the first part is the doctor's opinion. It talks all about how the alcoholic will drink and take on all types of risks fully knowing all of the consequences but not being able to help himself. This was me to the T when I was drinking. I'd blow off family outings, big appointments that could have advanced my career a lot faster, etc. all because of the mental obsession and physical craving of alcohol because that was the most important thing: Where my next drunk was going to come. I think what Keith Williams did on Saturday night would put him in this same category. He knew the consequences of his third DUI, he knew he had a bit to drink, and he chose to take on those risks when we all know that the man could have found other means to get home.
The middle two paragraphs here lead me to believe that he has attempted to get help before, but slipped up. Which in my dealings with this, I can understand and there is no respect lost from me.
A good question was posed as to where the University of Nebraska draws the line? This is not new ground for Keith Williams and if we let this one be his slap on the wrist, will this behavior continue? That's a very good question and I can tell you that if he truly is an alcoholic, that it most certainly will continue if he doesn't seek the help that he needs. Another good point was brought up about whether firing him would actually aid him in getting to his "rock bottom" to where he realizes that he has a problem he can't tackle on his own. I absolutely can see that point and I think it might be the best one that I have seen. But I have caught myself wondering this morning about what is best for Keith at this point? Does he need to get to his rock bottom to begin to change? Is sitting where he is regretting everything he's done his rock bottom now? Only Keith can answer that. I truly believe that what he should be required to do is get evaluated by the appropriate doctors and if treatment is recommended that he should be required to go to AA meetings. Based on what the doctor says the only requirement for Keith to retain his job should be his willingness to handle this problem if it is deemed he has one. We are a very forgiving society and the poor look the University of Nebraska may have from a national perspective will pass. We've seen the support he's received from his future constituents. I don't think them, or their parents would have any ill-will toward Nebraska if a man like Keith Williams admitted his faults and took steps to fix them. It is a very brave thing to do to admit you have a problem and to walk into your first meeting without having the court mandate that you're there.
To the crowd that thinks he should be fired on the spot without any type of consideration, I would completely disagree with you and I feel that if the University didn't put some very strong consideration into this decision and support their decision one way or the other with ways to help Keith that it would do absolutely no good for anyone and it would really lower my opinion of the administration.
As I said, I am not calling Keith Williams an alcoholic and I absolutely realize that some of my points were based on the assumption that he is, but I really hope that a requirement for him through what he'll deal with legally is to get evaluated by a doctor or a counselor and I hope that he chooses to be honest with the person conducting the evaluation. If he truly has a problem, I can certainly say that the AA community of Omaha and Lincoln will gladly accept you as a member Coach Williams and you have nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about. There are people here in this state that are just as good at helping people with this as you are at coaching WideOuts.
Thanks for the people that are reading this and I hope that I provided some worthy thoughts.
