OT: Youth sports
- Thread starter bullhusk
- Start date
I found the worst where the ones with no understanding that their kid was NOT good
Yep. I loved coaching practice. But grew to loathe coaching the games. For that very reason.
Little kids wrastlin is by far the worst. They should have the screaming moms wrastle in between matches for entertainment
Been on all sides of it. Parent, coach and ref. Not always at the same time. Didn't want to coach my kids but once in awhile got thrown into it. Loved working with the Jr high on down to grade 3.
Please coaches, drills an fundamentals fundamentals fundamentals. The shooting scrimmages and games will take care of themselves
Please coaches, drills an fundamentals fundamentals fundamentals. The shooting scrimmages and games will take care of themselves
You have to set the tone early as the coach. I tolerate nothing and I've had no problems from my parents. A few dicks on the other side, but such is life.
A
anon_umk0ifu6vj6zi
Guest
“I coached college football once, ONCE, and never again” -Scott frost
Ha! Sooo true!
I have coached Wrestling, Baseball, Basketball, Bowling and Football for over 20 years.
Practice for the most part is the most fun I have all day. Games, are the least fun because YOU (not you) but YOU, the parents, and honestly only like 2%, are ****ing morons.
If you are a parent, and your kid plays sports and you EVER emailed, called, talked to the coach about ANYTHING other than just saying "thanks"...you are an asshole. Period.
Unfortunately, NIL being a new factor could make things much worse, trickling all the way down to the youngest of them.
More and more parents will be seeing $$ in their kid’s potential, however unrealistic.
“My kid should not be a backup. My kid should be playing a different position. My kid isn’t getting enough touches., etc etc.”
With much more than scholarships on the line, it’s dangling a carrot in front of those rabid parents.
More and more parents will be seeing $$ in their kid’s potential, however unrealistic.
“My kid should not be a backup. My kid should be playing a different position. My kid isn’t getting enough touches., etc etc.”
With much more than scholarships on the line, it’s dangling a carrot in front of those rabid parents.
Doesn't it mirror every other facet of life at this point? 50/50 d-bags vs decent people. My boys did the select baseball things and it definitely had its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Oldest won a state title and is playing in college. It's weird, but it seemed like the younger the kids were the worse the parents were. I guess when the kids are 10 everyone still thinks Jr. should be the shortstop/QB/point guard. Reality sets in at some point.
I had a blast with it...you guys who don't or didn't enjoy it did it wrong.
Coached girls soccer for over 20 years and the overwhelming majority of my parents have been great. But.......nothing like have a player request that they play the entire game against the team sideline vice the parents' sideline, just so they don't have to listen to their obnoxious mom/dad. Really parents, get a clue.
I coached Y softball ball when my daughter played. Getting to know the kids was the best. Seeing a kid, who maybe wasn't the most athletically gifted at that age, have a big play or game was the best.
Some of the parents were annoying. I actually think I got by better than some of the other coaches.
Some of the parents were annoying. I actually think I got by better than some of the other coaches.
Giving up control of a large portion (100%) of your time to take your kids to baseball every weekend from late March into July. Daddy ball (ugh). Spending lots of money. Packing a damn metric ton of stuff to take every weekend to go spend 2-3 days at hot dirty ballfields in scenic location such as Council Bluffs, Grand Island, KC, etc.
Wish we could do it all again! My boys always wanted to do it, but I can't say it was always fun. I guess kids learn about life, because sometimes it was just tough.
Edit: forgot one - being forced to spend all of your social time with a group of parents not of your own choosing, who you may or may not like at all. Got to know some great people, also was forced to be with people that I dreaded being around.
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I had the pleasure of my son playing and me coaching select baseball from age 9 to age 14. We traveled a bit. We played in 38 states, and my son played in 5 countries in Europe. From 14 and 15 he spent one summer in Ohio and the next summer in Virginia. He was fortunate to be selected twice to the US National Team that played in Mexico and Brazil.
From the time my son was 13, he said his main objective in baseball was to get a full ride to a D-1 school to get a free education and play baseball. Mission accomplished.
We did things to the extreme. To this day, we do not have one regret. Yes, it cost a small fortune, but so does 4 years of education as an out-of-state student-athlete.
Then the next summer, spends 10 days in Ohio playing for his select team, throws a no-hitter in the national semi-final game, and immediately after the game hop on a plane with his mom and flies to Dallas for 10 days with the National team barnstorming to California and back. Get on a plane and fly to Mexico for 17 days of world competition.
You wanna have some fun? Get escorted by police off the team bus in Mexico, be escorted into the stadium, and then watch your son be the starting pitcher in the Gold Medal game with 20,000 Mexicans screaming at you.
Along the way, my son is a teammate and becomes lifelong friends with Jayson Werth, John Lackey, Kirk Saarloos, Dave Justice, Alex Rodriguez and guys who aspired to do that grind for an athlete's lifetime. Meets and becomes good friends with Shaq, Herschel Walker, is invited to Drew Brees 40th birthday party.
That's a smidgeon of what select baseball did for my son. It costs money, and it takes a tremendous amount of time, but the memories and the friendships last a lifetime. He and I still talk about a lot of the events that he participated in and what they meant in his development as a professional businessman and as a person who learned how to deal with high-pressure situations from a young age. My son is 43 now and living his dream.
Most people fold under the pressure, and some individuals excel. Now he just has to put up with his old man telling others it's not for everyone.
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You smooth it over by telling him, "I took your son because he's a good player and I think his mom's really hot."
Agreed. Wrestling is a bit intense anyway and magnifies the crazy…
I admit that there have been times when some kids played/got in a game because they had a hot mom.
Never got into watching it. Kids aren't very good.
Amen to that. Didn't do near the travel you did but daughter did basketball through Midwest and east coast. Best of times. Great friends, great sights, and yes it was expensive. We still talk about games and places. Would do it again in a heartbeat. But you are right, takes a special kid.
Officiating and coaching during the height of covid was great. The stands were empty and I realized the only part of officiating and coaching that is annoying is the parents.
I have coached youth sports for years. Have loved it. I have no doubt I’ve been lucky with not having terrible parents, for the most part.
It is pretty easy to set the tone in the beginning when coaching in a volunteer position. I have always asked for whomever else wants to help coach, we would love to have you help. Most of these parents don’t want to help at all. And that’s fine. But having a mutual understanding that I’m volunteering and they are choosing not to sure cuts down in bitching.
Also, do your best to be organized with practices. My older one started playing basketball and the coach was so disorganized. I asked if he needed help and he was happy to have someone else help. But it drives me and other nuts wasting the first and last 10 minutes of practice trying to figure out what to do. I started making my own practice plan and using it when he didn’t know what to do. So many complaints went away.
It is pretty easy to set the tone in the beginning when coaching in a volunteer position. I have always asked for whomever else wants to help coach, we would love to have you help. Most of these parents don’t want to help at all. And that’s fine. But having a mutual understanding that I’m volunteering and they are choosing not to sure cuts down in bitching.
Also, do your best to be organized with practices. My older one started playing basketball and the coach was so disorganized. I asked if he needed help and he was happy to have someone else help. But it drives me and other nuts wasting the first and last 10 minutes of practice trying to figure out what to do. I started making my own practice plan and using it when he didn’t know what to do. So many complaints went away.
The most annoying part of youth wrestling was the moms telling their kid they would have won if they were in better shape. Meanwhile, Mom would dress out at about 225 #s.
Very cool story. I'm sure it helped that your son wasn't some average player, but a pretty darn good athlete. Even at the young age of 9.
My boy (age 9) is above average with his athleticism, but not a super star by any means. He's very coachable, understands the game & tries hard.
My wife & I struggle having one sport take up so much time at this age especially when he enjoys other sports, other extra-curricular activities & we visit family who live a few hours away. I know we can still do a lot of those other things, but many things will have to take a back seat & that isn't something we're really looking forward to.
Kids are just so unique. If he really enjoys the game, loves the competition, and has good coaching, and a desire to perform at his best, sometimes that above-average can become borderline dominant if he has that passion.
The thing about kids is they wanna be really good at something but they also enjoy many other things that a normal 9-year-old should want to do. I get that. It is really hard to have total balance in their life if they have that desire to work hard and be rewarded for all their hard work.
As an involved parent, I always wanted to give my son and daughter all the tools they would need to be as good as they could be in whatever they chose to do. That's just a normal parent thing for all of us.
Unfortunately, many parents don't realize the amount of time and energy and effort, and money that it may take to give their children everything it takes to achieve high success. I'm not trying to preach here because I/we did things that were totally out of the "norm."
The initial steps that we took when my son and daughter were younger were to insure they knew how to protect themselves, and develop discipline. Not parental discipline, but directions from instructors, learning how to listen, and understanding that for the majority of their lives, they will be directed or told what to do by people who hold a higher position.
So, like it was in everything we did, I taught them and enrolled them in self-defense. After 3 years my daughter who was 11 at the time was 1/2 rank below black belt. We felt confident she had the foundation to defend herself if needed.
My son, who we started at age 4 became a decided black belt a week after he turned 6. By age 9, he was a 3rd-degree black belt, we knew from national tournaments that he could take of himself. It was in that process that he discovered he really liked top competition.
People would not realize that, as a family, we didn't miss a day of training Monday through Friday. Yet, we enjoyed all the things normal people do.
We went out for pizza every Tuesday night, we went to the movies every Friday night, and on the weekend we relaxed and he and my daughter hung out with their friends at the mall, just like normal kids.
So by the time my son began playing select baseball, he had multiple years of competing in competitive environments. Every day when I came home from a very taxing occupation, my son was saying, "let's go practice dad." He was a motivated little guy. The practice wasn't something to occupy time with, I had a plan in developing his skills. He was always a willing participant.
There's no question, those who have stayed long enough to read this long post must think we lived in a bizarre world. We just made a plan, and then executed the plan. The amount of time, energy, etc that it took to accomplish that plan was discussed beforehand. They knew this stuff wasn't supposed to be easy.
I certainly am not in a position to suggest what you and your wife choose to do with your little guy. As parents, regardless of what our kids are engaged in, we want them to have fun, and work hard enough to aim for a goal, but the road to being elite is a very long road.
When I coached, I always told the kids, "look, your mom and dad are working hard at whatever jobs they have to provide you with the opportunity to play a sport, meet new friends and have fun. It's my obligation as your coach to make sure you're not here messing around when your mom and dad are making a sacrifice so you can play this sport." I have respect for parents that are shuffling their schedules to make sure the kids get where they need to be in order to practice or play.
Sorry for this really long post. When I read your post about a little guy who may have some real ability, he already enjoys the game, I'm sitting here hoping that something will stoke his fire and he will get that passion that its gonna take to be all he can be in this or any other sport.
I know many of this forum will concur I am very long-winded. We've done it all, so I speak from personal experience. No one in my family has one single regret.
We invited the hard path and we met it head-on and enjoyed the entire process. One thing I will say, is every time I look in the mirror, and I'm 69 years old, I KNOW my kids were provided every opportunity that was available. They got the very best that I had to offer.
When I tell my story, I'm not a very popular guy. When you do things differently, people will treat you differently. It's what we chose to do, and we never apologize for anything. We earned the right to be who we are.
I wish your son the very best!
Great story. Most will not be as fortunate but it can still be a great ride!
Ooooooo that would be good….. it’s a wonder nobody has thought of that before.
I was one of those parents but I kept my criticism to crappy high school refs. As someone who was ultra-competitive when I played I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and I always sat too close to the floor. 🙄. I could be pretty objective about calls and damn there was some awful big school basketball officiating 25 years ago. It ruined watching my kids’ games for me.
I’ve done just enough reffing to know it’s a tough job but if you’re going to take the check you need to be better at the job. IMO there’s some blatant favoritism that takes place especially in high school basketball circles. Everybody knows each other and i think there are some friendships and grudges that influence way too many games. Whadayoudo though
i thought that when my middle child quit sports as an early teen ….then he found other friends and other things to do.
