OT - Question of Rudeness

[SLOHusker]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

 

[anon_umk0ifu6vj6zi]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

I have no issue with that, it never crosses my mind. Probably will now... thanks! Haha

 

[rrthusker]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

Interesting. I don`t care who the clerk hands the receipt to when my wife and I are together because she gives it to me regardless.

 

[HuskerJack95]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

Why not just ask for the receipt before the clerk has a chance to hand it to your wife?

 

[ThereIsNoPlace]

I am assuming by your over-sensitivity the clerk might be confused to who wears the pants in the family. These weren't issues 10 years ago because we had confidence in our roles. Not so with your generation. Try this blog to answer this question: askamy@tribune.com

 

[timnsun]

I am assuming by your over-sensitivity the clerk might be confused to who wears the pants in the family. These weren't issues 10 years ago because we had confidence in our roles. Not so with your generation. Try this blog to answer this question: askamy@tribune.com

Do you ever have anything worthy to post?

 

[huskerbux]

There are plenty things done by a cashier that I view as rude. The most being absolutely no small talk or eye contact as if I'm bothering them.

Who he/she gives the receipt to has never even entered my mind as rude or not rude. most of the time when we are shopping, I'm at the cc pad and she is in front of the cashier so it's a matter of convenience I would think that she gets the receipt because after the transaction goes through, I'm grabbing the cart anyway to get out of there. Just my .02. Can I get a receipt for that?

As for telling your wife to refuse the receipt.....that's way over the top IMO. Oh and I'm over 50 If that has anything to do with generation generalizations.

 

[Huskerlife39]

In my opinion its much ado about nothing and I'm 48. Seems like every industry is different. Fast food they generally ask if you want it. It seems like department stores ask where you want it. Grocery stores in my experience hand it to who ever is closest. So, yes, I think your over reacting. There is no grand plan to insult you.

 

[ThereIsNoPlace]

Do you ever have anything worthy to post?

Do you? Try the ignore button as I could care less about your opinion.

 

[huskergina]

I take my debit card out and hand it to my adult daughter all the time to pay for stuff. She does the transaction with the machine.....and they hand her the receipt. If I need the receipt...I ask her for it. It has never crossed my mind that I am being disrespected....or the cashier is rude.

 

[Husker.Wed.]

I don't know whether it has ever happened to me. On the rare occasions we shop together, either I pay and Mrs.HW hangs back a bit so I get the receipt, or she goes through the whole purse/wallet routine and I hang back so she gets the receipt. Maybe your wife should hang back a bit when you pay and you hang back a bit when she pays.

It is true that the actions of the feminists have confused our gender roles and we have to occasionally endure the humiliation of paying and not getting the receipt. On the other hand, the feminists have made it possible for our wives to be in the workforce making good money. That allows us to buy more booze and parts for our classic cars. For every yang there is a yin.

 

[TruHusker]

I want my wife to have the receipt. She keeps track of all that stuff. I am usually packing things up to take them home. My wife also generally pays even at a restaurant. Weird? Just how we have done it for 42 years I guess. There are plenty of things to get upset about, this doesnt seem like one of them.

 

[spartanhusker]

thank you, Thereis and Timsun, for my laugh of the night....

 

[spartanhusker]

thank you, Thereis and Timsun, for my laugh of the night....

 

[ThereIsNoPlace]

thank you, Thereis and Timsun, for my laugh of the night....

Welcome! I am worthy after all!

 

[xbluehawk]

Sounds like something George Costanza would get mad at. Like if someone got credit for buying a big salad. That would have been a great episode...

 

[seattle-sker]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

Wow, I'm glad to say I've never had to worry about something so irrelevant.

 

[GammaxuvirHusker]

I've never considered the receipt thing to be rude. I agree with one of the other posters who said it's rude when the cashier acts as if your presence is a bother to them. Something else I consider rude is what happened to me & my daughter at a local Walgreens a few months ago.

One cashier on duty. We were 2nd inline with a 3rd person behind us. While waiting in line a store employee walks up to the person behind us and asks if she's ready to checkout, then goes and opens a second register and begins to checkout the lady. That in and of itself was rude on the part of both the employee and the customer, but it got worse when we ended up standing in line for what seemed like forever while the person who was in front of us returned several different items while having to dig through a handful of receipts. All we had was one item. It would have taken all of 60 seconds or less for us to pay and go.

I'm getting mad again thinking about the experience.

 

[seattle-sker]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

My favorite part of this was "I have gone so far as to TELL my wife..."

Maybe it's the 29 year old in me, but I would never disrespect my partner by telling her what she can and can't do. Nor do I care if the Victoria Secret girl hands the receipt to her.

You must lead an incredibly boring life OP.

 

[Husker.Wed.]

My favorite part of this was "I have gone so far as to TELL my wife..."

Maybe it's the 29 year old in me, but I would never disrespect my partner by telling her what she can and can't do. Nor do I care if the Victoria Secret girl hands the receipt to her.

You must lead an incredibly boring life OP.

Assuming you enter in a legal contract with your partner (i.e. marriage), and further assuming you stay married for 30 years, come back here and confirm that you occasionally tell her to do something, and she does not consider it disrespectful. For a partnership to work, sometimes you have to be the teller, and sometimes you have to accept being the tellee.

 

[spartanhusker]

Again, topic of the day!

 

[bigboxes]

Assuming you enter in a legal contract with your partner (i.e. marriage), and further assuming you stay married for 30 years, come back here and confirm that you occasionally tell her to do something, and she does not consider it disrespectful. For a partnership to work, sometimes you have to be the teller, and sometimes you have to accept being the tellee.

Haha! Yeah, I like to be the teller. Can't say that my wife always goes along with it.

 

[suhnami]

I'm going to file this stuff under: "Things To Get Mad About For No Reason" thank you, I was running out of stuff.

Edit: Also, where did you get the idea that cashier, who sees 100's of people a day, gives a crap about your FEELINGS of value and respect? Have you ever considered that cashier doesn't give 2 shits and just wants you out of his or her face as fast as possible? Unless the store or the rep screwed up take the receipt and be on your way.

 

[NikkiSixx]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

My take on it is two fold..

1) It makes sense for the woman to handle this, as it is generally the type of thing that wives handle if an item needs to be returned. Yes this is stereotyping, and shouldn't be that big of a deal. Here in the US, it's just kind of normal for 'most' married people.

2) Body language at checkout. People make quick little decisions daily in response to others' body language. If you look like you are expecting the receipt AND you wife looks like she is not expecting the receipt, most of the time, you will get the receipt.

I do not believe you should take offense to the cashier. They don't really have a dog in the fight either way about the receipt. In the absence of strong body language indicating who should get the receipt, the social norms will take over and dictate who will get it.

Since you are upset, I'm going to take a guess here, that you only recently figured out your lower status and wish to change it. I would start by working on your body language if the receipt thing is that big of a deal. No disrespect intended, but if something so insignificant upsets you, there are bigger issues and you might ask yourself why you don't feel respected in the first place and then contemplate if there is anything you can control to change that.

 

[Tuco Ramirez]

I do not believe you should take offense to the cashier. They don't really have a dog in the fight either way about the receipt. In the absence of strong body language indicating who should get the receipt, the social norms will take over and dictate who will get it.

Perhaps the OP needs to put his purse on the counter to make sure the clerk knows he has a place to store receipts.
As far as changing gender roles over time, do you really think Desi went shopping with Lucy?

 

[JohnRossEwing]

Man...what if you went through a Drive-Thru window and the passenger was the one that was paying for the good...could you imagine the logistical mess of the worker at the window having to reach over the driver not only to pass out the food but also the receipt?

 

[Corn_Bred]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

That is interesting. I'd say you're making a big deal out of nothing.

 

[TheBeav815]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

The clerk just knew who really wears the pants. Better make your peace with it now...will make the rest of your life smoother.

 

[TheBeav815]

But seriously though, in that position I would hand it to whoever looked ready to take it fastest. When I waited tables, I'd try to put the check in the middle unless somebody asked for it ahead of time. It sometimes got VERY annoying people jockeying over who got to pay. I don't give a crap who pays, just get it done and don't tip like a moron. Squabble over it on your own time.

 

[Husker.Wed.]

The clerk just knew who really wears the pants. Better make your peace with it now...will make the rest of your life smoother.

Post of the year

 

[otismotis08]

The clerk generally hands it to whoever is being more attentive to the transaction, and whoever is closest.
I'm generally paying, so I generally get the receipt...even though my wife is much better looking, kind, and chatty.

 

[leodisflowers]

 

[big red22]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

Not really, mainly because I like to get out of the damn place as quick as possible..

I also think it would be more "rude" on your part to cause a seen and make the people wait in line behind you. You've got to pick your battles, and that would not be one worth fighting.

***Edit: To add another annoyance to this party. There is nothing that annoys me more than a two lane fast food drive through, and you see the other side of the drive through have 2 or more cars go through before they even take your order.

I never cause a seen, but I am pretty sure I gain a couple grey hairs every time that happens!

 

[candid]

Strange question but I thought I'd ask since there are a mix of generations (including college age) here:
If a clerk is working at a cash register and there is more than one adult (say a husband and wife) in a group that is purchasing items, would you consider it rude if the clerk hands the receipt to the one who does not pay for the items? As a father and the head of my household I generally go shopping with my wife and kids at department stores and frequently when we are together the cashier will try to hand the receipt to my wife, even though I am the one that paid. I view this as rude and disrespectful and have gone so far as to tell my wife to refuse the receipt if she isn't the one paying. My wife says that it is because she is chattier (happens with females more than males), which I think is ridiculous. Am I wrong? The reason I asked the generational question is because I never remember these things being an issue even ten years ago.

It isn't an issue until you make it one. If it bothers you, have your wife pass you the receipt immediately.

 

[rchawk]

I see a lot more rude behavior to cashiers than to customers. She says hi or welcome, the customers have their phones to their ears and don't even acknowledge her. Swipe the card or pay the money, move on, she's not important.

 

[CC_Lemming]

I don't think it's rude because there is no presumption regarding who the clerk should hand it to. It would only be rude if she violated some rule, written or implicit. Now, if you had stated, "please give me the receipt," and the clerk gave it to your wife anyway, that would be rude.

(I'm also confused as to why anyone would care.)

 

[Lincoln100]

Do you? Try the ignore button as I could care less about your opinion.

In other words, you do care about his opinion.