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OT: Experience losing a loved one

c3o

Graduate Assistant
Apr 24, 2018
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Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
Sorry. I know the feeling. My dad had a heart attack in front of me and died at 48. I called the ambulance. Don't wish that on anyone.
 
It is devastating, and literally feels like nothing matters anymore. Support, having friends and / or family there is everything. Even the smallest of kind gesture makes a difference, even if you don't know it at the time. What you had with him is something a lot of kids don't have with their parents, so you are a lucky man.
 
My dad died in 1991 at the age of 57 from emphysema. 11 months later my 24 year old younger brother who was a roofer fell 3 stories and died. This was incredibly hard on my mom, sister and I. About 12 years later my mom's second husband suffered a ruptured aorta at the National Cathedral in DC while on vacation. Luckily there were some medical personnel there and he survived which was a miracle. He is still with us some 15 years later.
 
I’ve lost both of my parents, my mom at 70, dad at 77. Both had health issues that contributed to their deaths… having seen them in later years struggle with their health, their deaths were almost a relief. They are believers, and I think that has helped me to see them delivered from their earthly bodies that were like a prison to them. I can’t imagine losing someone suddenly. To me that seems like it would be so much harder.

The pain of loss doesn’t go away, but with the passage of time I’ve figured out how to adjust my days accordingly.

So sorry for your loss.
 
So very sorry for your loss c30, too young leaving this earth..

Very fortunate to still have my 95 year old father still, the lord has truly bleesed him and myself..
🙏🏼 For you and your family..
 
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c3o, first of all, soooo sorry for your loss. That's way too young but a clear reminder that we don't know when our last day would be and live each day like it could be our last. Whether it be business dealings, friends and enemies, family and loved ones, etc etc.

Depression is a serious, sneaky SOB. Control it or it will consume and control you. AND DON'T CONFUSE GRIEF WITH DEPRESSION. You need to grieve. Each person does it differently.

You've gotta move on. Start by making a list of things you want/need to get done. Your list could be quite long and it could seem trivial. But start by knocking out 1 thing and the next day try to do 2 things etc. If you've gotta force yourself, do it. Somethings are easy to do and Somethings are easy to write down but hard to WANT to do. You might want to then split the list by importance and make it a goal to do something off both sides of the priority list.

If you were a social people person, get back into that routine. Don't just stay home and crawl into your cocoon. Same if opposite. Don't become something that you really aren't. Your goal needs to be to get back to "normal" for you.

Best wishes and condolences. You're never alone. People genuinely want to help people when they're down but you do have to kick your own butt sometimes. You're on the right path in the sense that you recognize "you're not yourself ". If you can, visit with your clergy if you are a member of a church. Even if you're not an every Sunday type. Many have been trained and have experience. Many also don't for that matter.

You'll never walk alone. 👌🙏✌️
 
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c3o, first of all, soooo sorry for your loss. That's way too young but a clear reminder that we don't know when our last day would be and live each day like it could be our last. Whether it be business dealings, friends and enemies, family and loved ones, etc etc.

Depression is a serious, sneaky SOB. Control it or it will consume and control you. AND DON'T CONFUSE GRIEF WITH DEPRESSION. You need to grieve. Each person does it differently.

You've gotta move on. Start by making a list of things you want/need to get done. Your list could be quite long and it could seem trivial. But start by knocking out 1 thing and the next day try to do 2 things etc. If you've gotta force yourself, do it. Somethings are easy to do and Somethings are easy to write down but hard to WANT to do. You might want to then split the list by importance and make it a goal to do something off both sides of the priority list.

If you were a social people person, get back into that routine. Don't just stay home and crawl into your cocoon. Same is opposite. Don't become something that you really aren't. Your goal needs to be to get back to "normal" for you.

Best wishes and condolences. You're never alone. People genuinely want to help people when they're down but you do have to kick your own butt sometimes. You're on the right path in the sense that you recognize "you're not yourself ". If you can, visit with your clergy if you are a member of a church. Even if you're not an every Sunday type. Many have been trained and have experience. Many also don't for that matter.

You'll never walk alone. 👌🙏✌️
Very thoughtful reply. Thanks. I feel much better now and I was letting the pain consume me
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
Sorry to hear that. It is so difficult. I lost my dad when he was 55. He to was in good shape. Then one morning we went to breakfast like we did everyday during the week before heading to work and he started having chest pains at breakfast. Took him to the hospital and he never left. My prayers are with you and your family in this very difficult time.
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
Sorry c3o. It sucks. I hope he's in a better place.

My father is in that range. We had a scare last Wednesday. I love my father so much. I'm not ready for him to leave me; I always thought he'd be there. He always was there for me. He has been so good to me.
 
My dad died of cancer at 74. Was a healthy guy otherwise, but ate him up in less than a year. I went through the stages, but handled it pretty well, probably because at the end death was preferable to where he was at. Unlike you I knew it was coming for a year. After 30 years I still miss him every day, but I miss him a little less each day (if that makes sense). I still have guilt I should have treated him better sometimes (like visited more). But mostly I just miss talking to him, he was an interesting guy. My mom died at 93 and I miss her too, but somehow don't feel as bad about her passing because she lived a full life and died very quickly.
 
Losing a parent is shit. Absolute shit. It gets better eventually, but it is absolute wrecking. Hang in there c3. When someone offers to do something (even as simple as hanging out) DO IT! Humans can get into a dark place when shut off to others, and left to their own devices.
 
Sorry c3o. It sucks. I hope he's in a better place.

My father is in that range. We had a scare last Wednesday. I love my father so much. I'm not ready for him to leave me; I always thought he'd be there. He always was there for me. He has been so good to me.
I definitely wasn’t ready. Just be good to your dad. The amount of grief is proportional to the amount of love.
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
May the Lord hold His hand over you and yours in peace and serenity.
 
I definitely wasn’t ready. Just be good to your dad. The amount of grief is proportional to the amount of love.
I miss him every day as am adult. In the last couple years, since COVID, I haven't gotten to see him much. I saw him 5 times last year. 3 for going to the game and being there for me for a bad car and back.

My parents divorced in 94. He used to take us every other weekend.

I used to live for his weekend. I'd mark it in my school planner. At my dad's I got to grow up. I'd get to watch Adult Swim with him. We'd play Warcraft 2 and Starcraft together.

The rest of my life was under constant oppression and abuse from my mother. If I let it loose what I liked I would get beat.
 
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Sorry to hear that c3o. I’m glad you’re doing better and coming out of a darker place. You’re one of my favorite posters. I’m fortunate not to have experienced anything like this yet, so I can’t offer the great words that others on here have.

I do love our fanbase and how we set aside differences and offer the value that we can to one another in these times of need. A lot of positivity comes out of these threads and it’s fantastic to see it. I’m positive your pops will RIP, man.
 
my heart breaks for you. dad went over in my early 20's and still miss him alot. always try and go back to these ideas. All good comes from GOD. anything that belongs to GOD cannot be threatened, anything that does not belong to GOD dosen't really exist. trudge ahead and GOD bless
 
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my condolences. It will be 10 years in March my father passed away I was fortunate enough to have him tI’ll he was 83 the draw back was he had Alzheimer’s and the last time I talk to him his response was in gibberish he didn’t know anyone. Was actually a blessing be his personality and spirit was gone for two years . Two pieces of advice always remember the good times with your father and it’s always better for a child to bury their parents not the other way around
 
One other thing I try to do is not dwell on the things I didn’t do for my parents. I think that’s the devil’s playground and I can fall into a hole so quickly. I wasn’t perfect and could have done a lot of things better. Guilt can be overwhelming.

Instead, I try to focus on the things that I did do for my parents. I’ve found that helpful.
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
Sorry for your loss.

We all grieve differently.

Best to hold on to the good memories and fully feel the emotions as they happen and don't hold anything in.

Make those that are important to you feel that way as much as you can, instead of just telling them.

Dad is with you always and you will see and feel some subtle and not-so-subtle messages from him.

Live life on your own terms, be healthy but don't restrict yourself to a point of where you're just existing. Dad would tell you the same.

With time, the pain will subside but the memory and fondness will grow stronger.

GBR💪
 
My dad passed away of a brain tumor at the age of 49. That was in 1993.

OP, if it helps, I can confess that it gets better with time. The pain will lessen and you will remember the good times more than the bad.
I just felt cheated out of so many years. I was only 22 when it happened. Try to cherish your parents because you never know when they will be gone.
 
Deepest sympathies… my folks are the same age, so that hits home and makes me want to patch up past misunderstandings.

I’ll never forget after my grandfather died (lung cancer late 50s) my mom was devastated… and when I was older told me how he visited her in her dream the night before the funeral with that burning heart on his chest like you see in portraits of Jesus. He just told her simply “it’s ok”. And she felt a relief when she woke up. The next week she was telling her sister about her experience and she said she had the exact same dream!

That story always simultaneously made me feel better and also scared me
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult

Here's a great song by Kid Rock that always helps me remember the good times with your dad.
 
Dad passed unexpectedly. 69 years old. Healthy guy who worked out. My parents and my wife’s parents are always at my house with the kids. One day dad came out of our den (where the kids play video games) holding his chest. My mother is a RN and took to his side and I called 911. Wasn’t a heart attack. Still went to ER. He had a dissected aorta and was rushed into emergency surgery. He made it through surgery but never got off breathing machine and his aorta dissected above where they fixed it.

I was the last person to talk with him. He was my best friend.

I took it pretty hard. I lost weight I didn’t need to. I’m 6’ tall and went down to 165lb. I’m usually 175lb. Lost my appetite. Fell into a depression that I’m finally coming out of. I also got sick, either gave myself gastritis or an ulcer, had to take PPIs which are helping but I don’t want to be on any pill.

Funny thing is, it’s been almost a month since he passed and it doesn’t feel real.

I’m doing much better now but that pain of grief and sorrow is very real. Nearly broke me. I’ve never lost someone close. However, my awesome wife and three boys have helped dig me out of the dark place I went to. Each day is getting much better and my overall health has returned.

I guess it’s also nice to hear others stories. It helps to hear you’re not alone when it comes to being nearly crushed from a close one’s death.

My poor dad. Gone too soon. My poor mom misses him so much.

It’s nice to write this down.

Losing someone you care about is very difficult
I've often felt those who are blessed to have a really great Dad are the fortunate ones until the day of their passing. Then a lifetime of memories and how much he meant to you come flooding in.

Like your father, I am also 69. I haven't had a father for 57 years. He died when he was 42 and I was 12. I've seen beautiful words from the members of this board as we all try to extend our sympathies for your loss. Each of us has different experiences on our journey to what we know will eventually separate us from those we love, at least on this earth.

Be strong for your mom. The qualities that your mom fell in love with by your dad's actions are the same traits he passed to you. We were all young boys at one time, and now it's time for you to comfort your mom, just as she comforted you all these years. Your strength in overcoming this loss will perhaps allow your mom to really know the man her husband helped raise.

It's sad to hear of your father's passing. You were blessed to have what appears to be a wonderful dad who you loved very much. Always remember you are allowed to grieve in any fashion and for as long as you feel you need to in order to move forward.

Prayers to you and your family, and all those who loved your father.
 
I lost my dad in November 2020. He was 98 years old. He had survived 4 heart attacks but succumbed to a fallen tree branch in his back yard. He was trying to clean it up and ruptured a hernia causing internal bleeding. They flew him to Omaha but couldn’t keep his BP up. Because of Covid, my mother wasn’t allowed to see him. He was shooting for 100 and probably would have made it. My mother still lives alone and will be 95 in a couple months.

I lost my 37 year old daughter on March 31, 2022. She was 8+ months pregnant with her 2nd child and was already dilated. She had gone to a concert with her best friend since middle school. The y left the concert early as they both had to be at work early the next day. On the way home, they were struck on the passenger side by a drunk driver who was going 102 mph in a Ford F250 flat bed with full throttle & no braking. My daughter was driving a Nissan Armada (big vehicle). The drunk driver drove ”through” the Armada causing it to roll and burst into flames. The F250 ended up on the other side and he survived. Fortunately, all of the occupants in my daughter’s car, including my unborn grandson, died from blunt force trauma & not from burning to death in the accident. It is extremely difficult to watch the video of the news reports from that night. Dental records were required to officially identify my daughter and her best friend. His BAC was .161 when they tested it about an hour after the accident. He also tested positive for cannabis.

I’ve learned that grief is a long process and is like wading out into the ocean. Waves will hit you at times & almost knock you over. At times, you’ll be able to walk with the flow & feel good. The support group I’m part of tells me that a big wave typically hits around 9 months. I haven’t experienced that yet but I’m expecting it.

Shortly after may daughter’s accident, my sister sent me this note:

Grief never ends…
but it changes.
It’s a passage,
not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith…
It is the price of Love.

Hang in there everyone! My prayers are with each of you in this time of grief.
 
I lost my dad in November 2020. He was 98 years old. He had survived 4 heart attacks but succumbed to a fallen tree branch in his back yard. He was trying to clean it up and ruptured a hernia causing internal bleeding. They flew him to Omaha but couldn’t keep his BP up. Because of Covid, my mother wasn’t allowed to see him. He was shooting for 100 and probably would have made it. My mother still lives alone and will be 95 in a couple months.

I lost my 37 year old daughter on March 31, 2022. She was 8+ months pregnant with her 2nd child and was already dilated. She had gone to a concert with her best friend since middle school. The y left the concert early as they both had to be at work early the next day. On the way home, they were struck on the passenger side by a drunk driver who was going 102 mph in a Ford F250 flat bed with full throttle & no braking. My daughter was driving a Nissan Armada (big vehicle). The drunk driver drove ”through” the Armada causing it to roll and burst into flames. The F250 ended up on the other side and he survived. Fortunately, all of the occupants in my daughter’s car, including my unborn grandson, died from blunt force trauma & not from burning to death in the accident. It is extremely difficult to watch the video of the news reports from that night. Dental records were required to officially identify my daughter and her best friend. His BAC was .161 when they tested it about an hour after the accident. He also tested positive for cannabis.

I’ve learned that grief is a long process and is like wading out into the ocean. Waves will hit you at times & almost knock you over. At times, you’ll be able to walk with the flow & feel good. The support group I’m part of tells me that a big wave typically hits around 9 months. I haven’t experienced that yet but I’m expecting it.

Shortly after may daughter’s accident, my sister sent me this note:

Grief never ends…
but it changes.
It’s a passage,
not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith…
It is the price of Love.

Hang in there everyone! My prayers are with each of you in this time of grief.
Could never imagine losing a child. Prayers to you and everyone who has.
 
I lost my dad in November 2020. He was 98 years old. He had survived 4 heart attacks but succumbed to a fallen tree branch in his back yard. He was trying to clean it up and ruptured a hernia causing internal bleeding. They flew him to Omaha but couldn’t keep his BP up. Because of Covid, my mother wasn’t allowed to see him. He was shooting for 100 and probably would have made it. My mother still lives alone and will be 95 in a couple months.

I lost my 37 year old daughter on March 31, 2022. She was 8+ months pregnant with her 2nd child and was already dilated. She had gone to a concert with her best friend since middle school. The y left the concert early as they both had to be at work early the next day. On the way home, they were struck on the passenger side by a drunk driver who was going 102 mph in a Ford F250 flat bed with full throttle & no braking. My daughter was driving a Nissan Armada (big vehicle). The drunk driver drove ”through” the Armada causing it to roll and burst into flames. The F250 ended up on the other side and he survived. Fortunately, all of the occupants in my daughter’s car, including my unborn grandson, died from blunt force trauma & not from burning to death in the accident. It is extremely difficult to watch the video of the news reports from that night. Dental records were required to officially identify my daughter and her best friend. His BAC was .161 when they tested it about an hour after the accident. He also tested positive for cannabis.

I’ve learned that grief is a long process and is like wading out into the ocean. Waves will hit you at times & almost knock you over. At times, you’ll be able to walk with the flow & feel good. The support group I’m part of tells me that a big wave typically hits around 9 months. I haven’t experienced that yet but I’m expecting it.

Shortly after may daughter’s accident, my sister sent me this note:

Grief never ends…
but it changes.
It’s a passage,
not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith…
It is the price of Love.

Hang in there everyone! My prayers are with each of you in this time of grief.
My Lord… I’ll pray for you and your family. For whatever that’s worth
 
After this last week, I'm so emotionally drained I don't think I can cry anymore. Or feel much of anything. But the flashbacks keep on hammering me. Add them to the pile.
I don't have any big words of wisdom or tear jerking speech to give. Day by day. We all deal with it in our own way.

God bless you guys/gals. God bless your families. God bless those you've lost.
 
I lost my dad in November 2020. He was 98 years old. He had survived 4 heart attacks but succumbed to a fallen tree branch in his back yard. He was trying to clean it up and ruptured a hernia causing internal bleeding. They flew him to Omaha but couldn’t keep his BP up. Because of Covid, my mother wasn’t allowed to see him. He was shooting for 100 and probably would have made it. My mother still lives alone and will be 95 in a couple months.

I lost my 37 year old daughter on March 31, 2022. She was 8+ months pregnant with her 2nd child and was already dilated. She had gone to a concert with her best friend since middle school. The y left the concert early as they both had to be at work early the next day. On the way home, they were struck on the passenger side by a drunk driver who was going 102 mph in a Ford F250 flat bed with full throttle & no braking. My daughter was driving a Nissan Armada (big vehicle). The drunk driver drove ”through” the Armada causing it to roll and burst into flames. The F250 ended up on the other side and he survived. Fortunately, all of the occupants in my daughter’s car, including my unborn grandson, died from blunt force trauma & not from burning to death in the accident. It is extremely difficult to watch the video of the news reports from that night. Dental records were required to officially identify my daughter and her best friend. His BAC was .161 when they tested it about an hour after the accident. He also tested positive for cannabis.

I’ve learned that grief is a long process and is like wading out into the ocean. Waves will hit you at times & almost knock you over. At times, you’ll be able to walk with the flow & feel good. The support group I’m part of tells me that a big wave typically hits around 9 months. I haven’t experienced that yet but I’m expecting it.

Shortly after may daughter’s accident, my sister sent me this note:

Grief never ends…
but it changes.
It’s a passage,
not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
nor a lack of faith…
It is the price of Love.

Hang in there everyone! My prayers are with each of you in this time of grief.
Good lord, my dude. That is awful. That’s no way to go.
 
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