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I bet she knows not to plan a wedding on a fall Saturday

Sounds like an old GF that moved in with me while I was in college.

-On day 3, I got ear plugs and tried to ignore her
-after one week I started pounding beers early and staying out later
-after two weeks my doctor started me on strong anti-depressants and recommended that I switch to hard liquor.
-after three weeks I moved her to the basement and bought an attack dog to guard the stairs.
-after one month the gun shop owner I know sold me a rifle and a case of elephant tranquilizers.

Nothing seemed to work so I moved out, stopped drinking, dropped the funky meds, sold the gun, gave my dog away, and obtained a permanent restraining order against her. I heard she moved down South somewhere.
 
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