. . . And when I say dear, I mean it only as a standard letter greeting. My relationship with you as a Husker fan is conditional upon your winning 10+ games consistently. Here is my list of demands:
1. I reserve the right to fire you every week. In game if need be. Should you call a stupid play that ends up winning a game, consider yourself retained.
2. Please bring with you or make plans to acquire a D-1 offensive line. This does not presently exist here.
3. Defensive line, same shit.
4. Do not test for steroids consistently.
5. Please do not tolerate any of these weak ass DUI's. These kids can get an Uber in 2021. Should anyone get into trouble, keep the evidence in your desk as TO did. In case the authorities have any questions and such.
6. Please keep Joseph and Busch on in some role so that the few D1 players we have will feel like they have a familiar face on staff.
7. Do not bone Co-Eds. It's prolly never happened here to the scale reported on this board. However, after your first loss, these conversations seem to sprout.
8. Do not be photographed in a bar at any point. After your second loss, you will also be considered a drunk who smokes weed in a studio apartment above said bar.
9. Get us a room full of quarterbacks and have a plan to develop all of them into Division One quarterbacks.
10. Any scholarship players who suck should be put on medical hardship with anything from a papercut on up. I realize this is possibly 75% of the current squad, but you were brought here for some reasons.
11. Have the foresight to recruit at least one guy named LeKevin. It's been a while since we had a player named LeKevin on the team. When we did, we were still fairly good.
12. Beat Iowa.
Thanks,
Bob
1. I reserve the right to fire you every week. In game if need be. Should you call a stupid play that ends up winning a game, consider yourself retained.
2. Please bring with you or make plans to acquire a D-1 offensive line. This does not presently exist here.
3. Defensive line, same shit.
4. Do not test for steroids consistently.
5. Please do not tolerate any of these weak ass DUI's. These kids can get an Uber in 2021. Should anyone get into trouble, keep the evidence in your desk as TO did. In case the authorities have any questions and such.
6. Please keep Joseph and Busch on in some role so that the few D1 players we have will feel like they have a familiar face on staff.
7. Do not bone Co-Eds. It's prolly never happened here to the scale reported on this board. However, after your first loss, these conversations seem to sprout.
8. Do not be photographed in a bar at any point. After your second loss, you will also be considered a drunk who smokes weed in a studio apartment above said bar.
9. Get us a room full of quarterbacks and have a plan to develop all of them into Division One quarterbacks.
10. Any scholarship players who suck should be put on medical hardship with anything from a papercut on up. I realize this is possibly 75% of the current squad, but you were brought here for some reasons.
11. Have the foresight to recruit at least one guy named LeKevin. It's been a while since we had a player named LeKevin on the team. When we did, we were still fairly good.
12. Beat Iowa.
Thanks,
Bob
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