Day 5 of watching the grandkids, epic

[sparky62]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

 

[gw2kpro]

Better than that. LOL.

 

[Cloud@Heart]

Having a shi##y day can lead to lifelong memories!

 

[mgbreis]

My wife's cousin had to wear a surgical mask every time he changed a crappy diaper because his gag reflex is so strong. We laughed our ass off at him, but I actually kinda admired him for still being willing to do it. I can remember several of those situations with my sons, funny now but not at the time!

 

[Baxter48]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

You deserve a bourbon in your morning coffee

 

[Huskerfan2112]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

Early favorite for Post of the Year

 

[dand84]

Grandkids are so much better than kids. Now, I don't have any grandkids mind you. But that is what I keep telling myself with my kids.

 

[NU_FTW]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

Ahh the good ol blow-outs. My first diaper i ever changed on my daughter was when she was about a week old and had just finished having the tar substance, it was runny, she farted and it became projectile, right into my mouth, i will never forget my fatherhood initiation. I never changed a diaper with my mouth in the trajectory range of it again and despite the smell learned to breathe through my nose. I was lifing her up by her feet to raise her butt to clean behind her because it was a blow out so her butt was elevated.

 

[spartanhusker]

Sparky, I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you right now!!!

 

[sparky62]

Ahh the good ol blow-outs. My first diaper i ever changed on my daughter was when she was about a week old and had just finished having the tar substance, it was runny, she farted and it became projectile, right into my mouth, i will never forget my fatherhood initiation. I never changed a diaper with my mouth in the trajectory range of it again and despite the smell learned to breathe through my nose. I was lifing her up by her feet to raise her butt to clean behind her because it was a blow out so her butt was elevated.

We have a winner.

Sparky, I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you right now!!!

I call BS.

 

[baseball31ne]

Having changed a few of the grandkids, yeah that brings back some memories for sure. Oof, some memories. Can laugh about them now.

 

[NU_FTW]

We have a winner.



I call BS.

HA, funny, i didnt feel like a winner. But when it comes to diaper stories it is hard to top for most disgusting experience ever. Impossible to forget too.

 

[WHCSC]

We were on the way back home from vacation and stopped in to fill up the tank somewhere in the middle of Nebraska. One of the kids has a total blow-out in the carseat. It was everywhere. We cleaned it up best we could but the rest of drive was a bit stinky.

 

[huskerbux]

Thanks Sparky! This has been a tough week but reading that story was hilarious. Yes I know I'm laughing at your expense but, well better you than me!

 

[superman787]

LOL, Been there!!

 

[CheeseRunza]

Great stories! Brings back memories of rectal thermometers, blowouts in the car seats, projectile vomiting in the camper etc. Sparky's story also kind of reminded me of the classic Ryan's Steakhouse Story, long and gross, but always good for a few laughs.

 

[JDskibum]

Now you have a story for her wedding.

 

[GretnaShawn]

I have had to hold my children in a shower (while standing outside the shower) to clean them off from blowouts more than I care to admit. It is the easiest solution. Just let the shower do the work. Otherwise it would be a half of pack of wipes.... My wife is not fond of this method.

 

[NU_FTW]

My daughter couldnt keep her milk down (regular milk) when she was younger every single time we would drive from omaha to lincoln she would throw up. That is the most disgusting smell ever that made me want to gag the most. Smelled like curdled milk plus puke there were some really really bad times. We had to start taking Highway 6 just so it would be easier to pull over and deal with it. Like clockwork every time it happened. Rancid puke sour/spoiled milk is gross. Not quite as bad as when my son would "lose" a sippy and a week later it is found with just enough milk in it to make me throw it away instead of opening it and cleaning them (hard lesson learned there)

 

[meo1960]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

So what Im hearing you say is that you have no interest in becoming a plumber.

Pays well, but the odiferousness is quite revolting.

 

[NU_FTW]

So what Im hearing you say is that you have no interest in becoming a plumber.

Pays well, but the odiferousness is quite revolting.

I dont know how plumbers do it, its one thing when it is your child/family that does something disgusting you ahve to deal with, but can you imagine snaking a main line and having something splatter on you? disgusting!!

 

[Hoosker Du]

Long story short. Mrs Sparky & I have been in Elmwood NE watching our 3 granddaughters since Monday. Now, mind you, Mrs Sparky has had an in-home Daycare for 28 years & I've seen just about everything imaginable after being in EMS, Fire, Rescue & Hazmat in 29 years.

Well today took the cake. Our 9 month granddaughter hasn't been feeling well since Tuesday. We kept her home from Daycare on Wednesday, Thursday and today. Fever, ear-infection and constipation(caused by the anti-biotics). Well about 8:05 this morning she's sitting on the floor playing with her toys, and I hear this major bodily function from baby Sparky. Then she falls over backwards and starts crying. Heck, I've been around kids long enough that I just casually walk over pick her up and give her a hug thinking it was just gas. At this time I feel this wet substance on my left arm. As I bend her over my right arm I see poop all over my left wrist, and up and down my sleeve. Now, this little girl hasn't really pooped for 2 days mind you and we've been feeding her a lot of fruit. I look closer. It's up her back, down her legs on her feet. At this time Grandpa Sparky's gag reflex kicks in and I'm not talking once or twice either. Now remember, I've seen a lot of stuff over the years and it takes a lot to make me gag. Mrs Sparky is cracking up as she's eating a slice of peanut butter toast(same color as my sleeve). I've never seen poop in so many places and I've seen lot of poop over my career and haven't gagged in eons & I'm talking years.

Three diapers, two hand towels, and countless diaper wipes, a bath and a new set of PJ's grand-baby Sparky is happy and grandpa needs another cup of coffee.

How's your morning?

Was it a complete and total Barf-O-Rama?

 

[mgbreis]

My Dad has a funny story about my little sister, who was a "surprise" when I was 12 and my brother was 14. We were all in the station wagon headed to Minnesota for vacation, and my Sister (not in a car seat) had a blow out all over the front seat. We got to the lake and that evening he took the boat out and was leaned over the side rinsing out his jeans when the game warden motors up and says "Sir, what are you doing?" Dad's reply: "I'm washing $hit out of my jeans."

"Thanks sir, you have a nice day"

He probably would get a ticket for something these days.

 

[huskerfan1414]

Great stories! Brings back memories of rectal thermometers, blowouts in the car seats, projectile vomiting in the camper etc. Sparky's story also kind of reminded me of the classic Ryan's Steakhouse Story, long and gross, but always good for a few laughs.

Got any more???

 

[CheeseRunza]

Got any more???

Not sure who wrote that, or how much truth is in there, but I remember laughing at it about 20 years ago when it made the rounds via email, and it is still funny today.