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I have a "friend" who is financially handicapped that needs a really good fathers rights lawyer. This board in the past has always provided good leads for serious OT subjects like this. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Look, I went through my divorce in Omaha, I had an awesome lawyer. I even got custody of my two children... So I can’t sit here and say that Father's rights is an oxymoron. However Fathers have a bit of an uphill battle, and it is all about selecting the correct lawyer that fits your situation. my personal advice is don’t shoot for a straight up father's rights lawyer, that shows that you’re not fighting for custody of the kid(s) but just fighting for how much time they spend with you and how much you have to pay in child support or alimony... I'd also suggest going out and finding yourself a female lawyer to represent "your friend" it’s just an added perspective of a woman fighting for the male to keep his kids. If you want who my lawyer was I’d be more than happy to let you know. But again Id shine away from any of the advertised Father's rights lawyers; unless you just want Father's rights, if you want your kids, then fight for your kids!
Look, I went through my divorce in Omaha, I had an awesome lawyer. I even got custody of my two children... So I can’t sit here and say that Father's rights is an oxymoron. However Fathers have a bit of an uphill battle, and it is all about selecting the correct lawyer that fits your situation. my personal advice is don’t shoot for a straight up father's rights lawyer, that shows that you’re not fighting for custody of the kid(s) but just fighting for how much time they spend with you and how much you have to pay in child support or alimony... I'd also suggest going out and finding yourself a female lawyer to represent "your friend" it’s just an added perspective of a woman fighting for the male to keep his kids. If you want who my lawyer was I’d be more than happy to let you know. But again Id shine away from any of the advertised Father's rights lawyers; unless you just want Father's rights, if you want your kids, then fight for your kids!
Fathers Rights is an oxymoron
Nebraska fan, I don't want to point fingers so I will start by agreeing to one part of your post, I will agree that the men are subject to a bit more prejudice during this whole process, however I still can not accept the term "Fathers Rights"... Why you may ask, well it is simple all parents are entitled to the same rights to the kids, unless said parent is a danger to the child or deemed that worthless by the courts. The term "fathers Rights" to me translates to "I want to make sure I'm not over paying for those kids and I don't wanna pay my ex a penny" when in reality if you go into court and fight for your kids, not just time with your kids, but for your kids and fight for who and what will be the best situation for your kids you need to worry about over paying or paying a cent to your ex as if you do things right you can end up with the kids... "Fathers rights" is a mind set that says men are not entitled to majority custody of their kids, but I say bull to that IF and only IF that man can provide the best living situation for the kid then the man should take majority custody.. But regardless because at the end of the day it took two people to create said kid and it takes those same two to raise that kid, and both NEED to be a part of that kids life regardless of the situation, and both parents need to sit and communicate and realize that the kid had nothing to do with what happened between them, so the kid does not need to suffer, and both parents need to decide together with level heads on who has the more stable income, the more stable life and who can provide the best life for that kidConsider if you will "fathers rights" and "civil rights" on the same basis. It's the lack of rights that forms the basis of the term. In divorce men shoulder the greater responsibility and are subject to prejudice. While you might have had a more positive outcome then the vast majority of men it's still only an anecdotal example and until it's the norm "fathers rights" will remain elusive.
Nebraska fan, I don't want to point fingers so I will start by agreeing to one part of your post, I will agree that the men are subject to a bit more prejudice during this whole process, however I still can not accept the term "Fathers Rights"... Why you may ask, well it is simple all parents are entitled to the same rights to the kids, unless said parent is a danger to the child or deemed that worthless by the courts. The term "fathers Rights" to me translates to "I want to make sure I'm not over paying for those kids and I don't wanna pay my ex a penny" when in reality if you go into court and fight for your kids, not just time with your kids, but for your kids and fight for who and what will be the best situation for your kids you need to worry about over paying or paying a cent to your ex as if you do things right you can end up with the kids... "Fathers rights" is a mind set that says men are not entitled to majority custody of their kids, but I say bull to that IF and only IF that man can provide the best living situation for the kid then the man should take majority custody.. But regardless because at the end of the day it took two people to create said kid and it takes those same two to raise that kid, and both NEED to be a part of that kids life regardless of the situation, and both parents need to sit and communicate and realize that the kid had nothing to do with what happened between them, so the kid does not need to suffer, and both parents need to decide together with level heads on who has the more stable income, the more stable life and who can provide the best life for that kid
You might have exposed your prejudice in the matter when you presume to equate fathers rights to potential child support and or alimony and if you were a judge you would find a way to punish the man if in your prejudice you decide to leave the children with the woman. Unfortunately the system is such that you have to prove the mother is bad and not who would provide the best environment for the child. I to have been down that road and it took years before the children were with me.
I have been of the opinion for many years that in a divorce the parents should shoulder the cost of a complete psychological evaluation by a board certified professional irrespective of who steps up to be the primary care giver and make their recommendation to the judge. The legal system is more impressed by who can throw the most dirt then the capabilities of the parents.
If you talk to many attorneys they will tell you custody is often decided in chambers with no transcript unless his or her attorney makes a demand.
This, perfectly stated Beav you are absolutly right on all pointsThe myth that Dad needs to stay and quietly suffer through all the punishment of a bad relationship because the judge will throw the book at him is still alive.
Here's what you should ACTUALLY expect:
Your attorney and her attorney will meet with you separately. You'll go over what your goals are.
You'll all meet together at one of the attorney's offices. You'll discuss what's realistic, what's best for your kid(s), and what your goals are in light of that.
They will urge you to come to an amicable agreement on your own. If you can't, you'll likely go into mediation.
If you get through mediation and you STILL can't agree, you can expect the judge to issue an order.
Likely your support payments will be about 20% of your (pre-tax) income. Track EVERYTHING you spend on the kids (with proof) as you may get a credit for that.
On visitation, they'll give you as much time as you can agree to, and it is very likely to be equitable.
KEEP THE FINISH LINE IN SIGHT. It will be difficult. Remember, your goal is to someday live a live that says to your kids, "This is what it looks like to be loved and happy."